Oh the effect
on a person
of music
that music has
the innability to cope
the ability
to bear the weight
of the world
on ones shoulders

when I write
its as though
I could have
the darkest day
hour
moment
and listen
to all that is
beautiful
and the fog
is lifted from me
my day

it used to be
that reverse
could be true
yet I find
that somehow
things have changed
not of my choice
not that I mind
but darken my door
can music no longer

brighten life with music
for all music has beauty
"dont just listen to good opera,
listen to ALL opera"

-------------------------------

I seem to feel
more often than most
that I am without
a place to call home

I live in a place
that some call home
some call a house
I call it nothing
I have grown there
I have learned there
felt all there is to feel
there

yet there is a place
that I was raised in
went to school from
and returned after
a place where I took my steps
cried at night
felt lost

now I search for a place
where I can feel
all of what I have felt
except will that be home?
it may be
that I have just been leaving
what I could
should be
considering home
home is where the heart is
this house is not a home
when you are alone
what to say of love
what to say of life

who needs a home
who needs people
who needs love

I do

-------------------------------

Am I one of them
one of those people
who needs others
who needs reassurance
who needs a pat on the bag
or more?

What is wrong with
being that person
to need love
to need companionship
to need encouragement

I find myself surrounded
by great persons
who all are these people
people
who have in mosts eyes
NO reason
to be sad
anything but stellar
but they are humas
just like everyone else
yet still unique
I have people
that feel the gambit
create beauty
lack confidence
look down on themself
on others
but seem to
give encouragement
that often
they themselves dont take
we are all aware of such
hypocracy

at least we arent naive
or ignorant
we are the people
that live the life
our life
no one else living
it for us
we can walk the path
and say we gave
our all
to all

--------------------------

You sit in
like a protest
where my body
has sinned against you
so you demand rights
and an ear
in my mind

you dominate my thoughts
you dominate my breaths
my movement
my all
this I mind
normally you in my life
is a positive
but this I will not tolerate
you hurting me is not an option

I do the best to live my life
but I must keep you off
out of my mind

I now choose
to call you
on this
this day of thanks
to thank you
for all of you
every moment
every thought
everything thing
that ever included you
even by association
without you
I would not be who
I am right now
or who I will one day be

yet I call you
and the call is awkward
not of my choice
you say its nothing you do
nor is it me
I wish to say but dont
for with you
I often feel
that I am fighting
a negative
triple digit tempature
storm
up a hill
on a grade so steep
it makes me feel
as though
its not worth it
but without you
I am not who I am
nor who I will be
so why not involve you more
you have done good
annd even the negative
you could bring
will bring thought
epiphany
knowledge
happiness
in the end

-----------------------------

I havent written before or after an entry in a while. I feel as though I should. So here what I have to say in reflection of thanksgiving; THANK YOU. I took my mothers advice this year and took some time to think what I am thankful for. Rather than what, I did who. I dont wish to say, that these people are the TOPS of my list, however, these are people that I have always maintained are beyond people, they are transcendent. The following people, I am thankful for, in every way;

Burton Hable - Student, Friend, Brother, Musician, Future Colleague, Inspiration
Michael Reese - Teacher, Friend, Mentor, Future Colleague, Musician, Inspiration
Caleb Thompson - Student, Friend, Brother, Believer Of God, Inspiration
Karen Downing - Teacher, Friend, Editor, Future Colleague, Writer, Inspiration
Clark Bowden - Student, Friend, Brother, Believer Of God, Inspiration
Connie Mulligan - Teacher, Choreographer, Friend, Future Colleague, Inspiration
John Hickling - Teacher, Father Figure, Friend, Future Colleague, Mentor, Inspiration
Tommy Dawson - Friend, Brother, Student, Beleiver Of Love, Inspiration
Kelly Kruse - Student, Friend, Musician, Poet, Bohemian, Sister, Inspiration
Dr Simonson - Teacher, Future Colleague, Musician, Inspiration
Sarah Thompson - Student, Friend, Sister, Musician, Inspiration