a question worth asking

people often search for silence
and there is where they find their answers

so by my finding answers in music
what does that mean

maybe i should try it in silence as well
and see how that goes

so
to the moments
where one finds no inspiration
in anything
to the times without pen or paper
and so much to write
to the great songs in
unfamiliar territorry
the times where passion
does infact translate into action
when feelings are expressed and
go unreciprocated
to the spelling and gramatical errs
and the beauty and honesty they create
to every moment
in a life

because they were supposed to happen as such
and there is nothing we can do about changing them

so just learn from them

maybe things are as simple as they seem

time to stop over analyzing?

answer is unclear

struggling to write
not in the moment
but in life
i find myself

on a grey december morning
with echoes of songs once sung
and ideas of what lost is

i have surrounded myself
with piles and walls
serving what purpose?

its amazing that the body
can go from content to cold
with such little change

am i ready to do this
to do what is completely necessary?

is there anyway i can truthfully know
any of the answers to my questions

how can i be for sure

is there a way to make sure
is there a way to turn this insecurity
in my future
into security of action?

hindsight is always 20/20
and things never end perfectly
dont you wish you could ask questions
in any matter
with any person

would that help
or would that hurt

even if its 20 years later, what about 1 more minute with a person
to ask anything
to say anything
hello goodbye god loves you
just anything

would it be better take it
or to go without

these are questions worth asking

weaker moments
prideless moments
crying out to what seems no one
reaching out from someone

but whether to give into myself
and commit an act upon myself
that i later will abhor

to stick to my convictions
when i say that i will not drink
but then
to turn instead
to pills
to lull me into a haze and lucid area

-----------------------------------------------

why is it
when i am stressed i can think to write
the moments that show me having a "GREAT" day
they drive me to write
for it feels in those moments
that no person is there to comfort me

------------------

why cant i forgive andy
what is the key to this
should i continue to hope
and hold on to next to nothing
which is what is left
or maybe i should let go
and never think to apologize
or also to be apologized to
as well
do i really want the friend?

-------------------------

i dont have the energy it seems
to do much of anything
interactions with people are lacking
lacking waht i think and say
my butting in into situations
my writing of wrongs

they are lacking
even for myself

even alone

i have too little energy

how often do you run the line
that line when you know what you are doing
just might hurt you
knowing that it might sting
or burn
or maybe even bleed
but you choose to do it anyway
even though it will hurt
but you arent doing something to inflict the pain

now how often
do you choose not to get help
and do you ignore that
by not gettin help
you are in fact hurting yourself
but for some reason
you dont take those steps
to just help yourself
and maybe
just maybe
if you took those steps
they could be easier to take every time you woul ever have to think
about taking them?