lately it seems to blow to be in competition. i dont care what kind and what for. it just seems that competition for anyone that deserves to do well hasnt. and in the end shouldnt the judges of these competitions be looking to themselves and noting that they are the ones failing those who deserve it. instead we seem to give the awards and accolades to those who put nothing behind what they do. it is sad. it makes me not want to have a group in competition ever. which is ever more sad because we can learn so much from competition. but learning in so many situations anymore means taht we must feel a negative emotion first to gain something from it. death to sadness/loss to get to the happiness of the fact that the person has moved on to better.

bah i just dont know


plus being gay still isnt fun

dear god,

deliver me more strength to serve you better. and allow me to defer sinful behavior from my life.

amen