tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-145387622024-03-19T00:45:36.584-05:00Sing Love, Sing Despaira blog full of -- when i write -- what i feel, at the moment i choose to write.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger274125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14538762.post-72495672268601639182011-07-10T05:05:00.001-05:002011-07-10T05:05:09.110-05:00i will oblige <br />
and hypothesize<br />
however don't go and tell me<br />
what it is<br />
don't give me your answer<br />
<br />
i am <br />
as you pointed out<br />
intellectual<br />
and that could get in the way<br />
but i also fear<br />
that it may set me free<br />
<br />
my intellect has always given me pause<br />
in this matter<br />
so what am i to do<br />
<br />
i believe in love<br />
and happiness beyond all things<br />
<br />
i search for them<br />
and run after them<br />
like a child <br />
looking for the rainbow's end<br />
<br />
but in the end<br />
it feels fleeting<br />
but the rush of the color<br />
the idea<br />
of the pot of gold<br />
is often enough<br />
<br />
i am not saying it is not crazy<br />
but what i am saying is this<br />
<br />
without that element<br />
i am not me<br />
<br />
not to negate that possibility<br />
of higher effectiveness<br />
or normalcy<br />
<br />
but i live in a world<br />
and wish to continue to<br />
live in this world<br />
where those without it<br />
are nothing<br />
and no one<br />
<br />
i would not wish upon any great mind<br />
their obsession<br />
if you were to choose that word<br />
to be taken from them<br />
<br />
i would never ask for schubert <br />
to be without his need for escape<br />
nor the syphilis that ended him<br />
so we are told<br />
<br />
i would never want beethoven<br />
to be without the madness of<br />
hearing loss<br />
driving him into musical derivatives <br />
<br />
i would never want to mozart<br />
to be wealthy<br />
nor plain<br />
for it was the 'too many notes'<br />
that made him who he was<br />
<br />
and for teasdale rosetti and woolf<br />
i would never take away the darkness<br />
for without it<br />
we may never have heard the full range of emotions<br />
<br />
shakespeare without his infallible need<br />
for love<br />
<br />
let it be<br />
<br />
let it be said of me<br />
that i was one who believed<br />
in sharing the blessings i receive<br />
let them know in our hearts<br />
when our days are through<br />
that crazy is not something to be wary of<br />
<br />
it is something to have a healthy respect for and of<br />
monitor it<br />
keep your eye on it<br />
but never hinder that side of you<br />
<br />
for it is where creativity stems from<br />
<br />
without my 'love obsession'<br />
i could not sing<br />
i could not write<br />
i could not dance<br />
i could not create<br />
<br />
at least<br />
that is how i feel<br />
<br />
so here we are again<br />
on a road that i know has risks<br />
and not just of going unnoticed<br />
this road can hurt me<br />
and make me want to slow down<br />
but <br />
<br />
i refuse to be plain<br />
i refuse to be labeled<br />
and i need to remember<br />
<br />
as long as i rise every day<br />
wanting more<br />
of myself<br />
and learning more<br />
and do more<br />
and be more<br />
<br />
i am not on the wrong path<br />
<br />
let the love need<br />
and let it overflow from me<br />
to where i feel i have given more than i have received<br />
for i once heard<br />
that was the way to live your life<br />
giving<br />
and<br />
lovingUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14538762.post-12325070295941950632011-07-06T01:36:00.000-05:002011-07-06T01:36:28.679-05:00i have always wondered<br />
what is it that was wrong<br />
with all of those famous <br />
prolific persons who came before<br />
<br />
with davinci they say countless things<br />
and mozart and beethoven as well<br />
what caused hughes to write that way<br />
and poor teasdale and woolf as well<br />
<br />
if they were alive today <br />
outputting the same material<br />
what would the reaction be<br />
critical acclaim i think not<br />
<br />
what if they had never done what they had<br />
how would the world have changed<br />
would be be able to identify they problems well<br />
<br />
is it best to let it rest<br />
their proclivities and insecurities<br />
<br />
or should we continue to analyze and take <br />
the mystery<br />
and misery<br />
<br />
what would mozart be if not idealistic<br />
and beethoven without hopeful<br />
schubert without the chlamydia and need for escape<br />
and teasdale and woolf without the sorrow<br />
<br />
are the labels doing us any good<br />
is the idea and need to regulate everyone <br />
good<br />
let alone necessary<br />
<br />
is it better to focus on the product rather than the method<br />
<br />
but what if it is the method<br />
that indeed <br />
<br />
kills themUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14538762.post-37605059059686976372011-07-05T02:51:00.000-05:002011-07-05T02:51:56.687-05:00i want to say i love you<br />
but i don't seem to know <br />
to formulate the words<br />
once again<br />
so that you may understand<br />
<br />
i want to tell you i am better than them<br />
but i know what that would sound like to<br />
ears other than my mind's<br />
<br />
i want to tell you to give me your time<br />
only to me<br />
but i know what that request would be<br />
and what it could mean<br />
<br />
i love you so much i doubt myself<br />
i doubt my life<br />
i doubt it's worth<br />
<br />
i believe i know one thing<br />
in this life<br />
i have known love<br />
better than any one thing <br />
<br />
not even despair<br />
can account to the quantity and quality of love<br />
that i have seen<br />
because <br />
despair cannot see beyond its means<br />
the love in my life has been built up so high <br />
it covers the sun<br />
as it covers the world<br />
in a blanket<br />
of perpetual rose<br />
<br />
no glasses necessary<br />
<br />
try me on for size<br />
for once<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
the things i want to say<br />
i cannot seem to form<br />
the things i do say<br />
seem beyond topical<br />
<br />
all i want to do is love<br />
and die happyUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14538762.post-83890157477067457122011-06-23T22:01:00.002-05:002011-06-23T22:01:49.364-05:00question<br />
<br />
does being what seems to be<br />
the solo gay<br />
in the area<br />
make you gayer<br />
or straighter<br />
<br />
or does being in a gay centric community<br />
make you gayer<br />
<br />
concentration by solitude<br />
or <br />
concentration by proximity<br />
<br />
random ideaUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14538762.post-48857112002713843332011-06-23T00:40:00.000-05:002011-06-23T00:40:36.361-05:00selfish<br />
the words ring out<br />
across space <br />
in the darkness<br />
void of light<br />
seemingly endless<br />
much like the feeling<br />
of complete <br />
and utter<br />
selfishness<br />
<br />
how could i want something so single mindedly<br />
i want him to myself<br />
<br />
it is amazing what my mind does when it comes to him<br />
he lifts my heart so high<br />
and empties my mind<br />
<br />
but following that moment<br />
my heart decends<br />
and what i believed to be empty<br />
merely<br />
could have been the parting of the clouds<br />
<br />
this year<br />
will be nine years<br />
<br />
of being out<br />
and being in love with him<br />
<br />
what is this life that i lead<br />
why do i feel i seemingly stand alone<br />
<br />
and why has love<br />
and life<br />
by standard definition<br />
thwarted me so<br />
<br />
i speak the line<br />
first as an outpouring with no control<br />
second as a negotiation asking for the slightest bit<br />
and third in defeat<br />
<br />
never let me stop<br />
never let me cease<br />
never let me go awayUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14538762.post-26760467947636153362011-03-31T02:03:00.000-05:002011-03-31T02:03:24.501-05:00two plus weeks<br />
little to no noticeable change<br />
my patience draws short<br />
yet my attention span seems to grow<br />
<br />
i want nothing more than to escape<br />
to take the time<br />
that is needed<br />
to make myself<br />
as whole as i can be<br />
today<br />
<br />
to run away<br />
for quiet<br />
and meditation<br />
to push out<br />
look in<br />
take stock<br />
and find that <br />
what i have inside of me<br />
is all that i need<br />
<br />
but i need to nurture it<br />
let it grow<br />
maybe that<br />
may make all the difference<br />
<br />
push out<br />
breath in<br />
release<br />
relax<br />
let go<br />
let loveUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14538762.post-20189846256460726762011-03-28T22:09:00.000-05:002011-03-28T22:09:08.527-05:00i am getting very bored with<br />
being disappointed in peopleUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14538762.post-21414134610279007242011-03-21T01:04:00.001-05:002011-03-21T01:04:12.758-05:00i am given what i most likely<br />
could be given<br />
for what i had wanted<br />
for this period of time<br />
<br />
and yet<br />
i am going to bed<br />
more depressed<br />
than when i startedUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14538762.post-55394407296884929072011-03-09T01:27:00.000-06:002011-03-09T01:27:18.397-06:00i want to run away home<br />
to paris ill go<br />
and feel like a kid again<br />
<br />
but in reality<br />
i just want my friend home<br />
i want him to be near me<br />
i love him<br />
<br />
i want to be happy<br />
<br />
and i am not giving up the dreamUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14538762.post-14287379332365543752011-03-02T01:36:00.000-06:002011-03-02T01:36:14.722-06:00is there a world where i can be friends with my ex<br />
where i might want to be friends with my ex<br />
where i would have a healthy relationship with my ex<br />
<br />
i can't imagine<br />
stuck<br />
stuck in that place<br />
where i am afraid i'll never be over him completely<br />
<br />
and i think i want to<br />
<br />
pretty sure i want to<br />
<br />
this feels frivolous<br />
and pushed<br />
<br />
trite<br />
<br />
merdeUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14538762.post-90351974750227245492011-03-02T01:22:00.000-06:002011-03-02T01:22:59.839-06:00fievel goes west<br />
<br />
sitting worlds apart<br />
maybe looking at the same damned star<br />
<br />
i do find comfort<br />
that wherever you are<br />
even tho its hours ahead<br />
i don't feel hours behind<br />
<br />
i just miss you<br />
i am happy you are warm<br />
and i hope you are comfortable<br />
but i hope you miss me<br />
<br />
i hope you realize the gravity of the situation<br />
even if you don't let me know<br />
and don't let me know the pull that i am not causing<br />
<br />
one day <br />
you will feel my love<br />
and maybe<br />
one day<br />
i will feel your love<br />
<br />
but i don't want either of us<br />
to make usUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14538762.post-11034603042606481452011-03-02T01:19:00.000-06:002011-03-02T01:19:45.083-06:00to the artist<br />
who seemingly does what she wants<br />
but yet feels confined<br />
she does not bash her head against the walls<br />
thrashing to show her opposition<br />
but instead <br />
the modern day<br />
giovanni de palestrina<br />
finds the way<br />
to break the rules<br />
and seemingly stand inside the walls<br />
that used to confine her<br />
<br />
let your multiphasic lyrics fly<br />
let the polyphony echo<br />
and let the antiphonal chorus sound<br />
<br />
a new musical saviour<br />
to remind the top 40<br />
of something moreUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14538762.post-51327632959995008222011-03-02T01:13:00.000-06:002011-03-02T01:13:47.511-06:00its very odd<br />
the things you find<br />
when you awareness comes around<br />
to prove that you left something<br />
that maybe you now want<br />
<br />
but what causes you to want it now<br />
<br />
in this case<br />
they are happy<br />
happier than you<br />
so it would appear<br />
<br />
would you trade the success <br />
that you have seen<br />
for the companionship<br />
that they sail <br />
for the current time<br />
<br />
lord only knows how long<br />
the rainbow flag will fly<br />
on that vessel<br />
<br />
the length of time being all to short<br />
and yet unbearably long<br />
for those manning the rigging<br />
<br />
so here's to the ladies who put themselves first<br />
i hope your happy<br />
you are at many times<br />
my inspirationUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14538762.post-22789274578720183592011-02-21T03:36:00.000-06:002011-02-21T03:36:39.519-06:00ask who is crazy<br />
and i will be first in line<br />
to tell you<br />
that i am crazy<br />
<br />
i love my life<br />
i love how odd it is<br />
thanks for the passion<br />
and for the voice<br />
and sometimes<br />
for the lack of wordsUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14538762.post-46453869616825473882011-02-15T01:37:00.000-06:002011-02-15T01:37:13.845-06:00why why<br />
someone try and tell me why<br />
they think their actions <br />
are working for the common good<br />
remove rights<br />
define marriage<br />
<br />
poetry past <br />
marriage impossible<br />
look at the world we live in today<br />
it is amazing how hopeless i can feel<br />
but yet<br />
i was much more hopeless then<br />
and didn't realize that possibility that the world held<br />
<br />
stop talking about god<br />
and talk about love<br />
the one thing we all have in common<br />
<br />
remove the rights of one and all rights are lost<br />
<br />
love in need of loveUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14538762.post-85955497645259070902011-02-14T01:27:00.000-06:002011-02-14T01:27:05.179-06:00when you do not write<br />
it is as though<br />
the calls stopped<br />
<br />
but returning to writing<br />
is as though you open the phone lines<br />
to the world<br />
and calls seem to trickle in at first<br />
but soon<br />
it is a flood<br />
of anything<br />
you can imagine<br />
..........................................<br />
how we all long<br />
for the unexpected<br />
friend<br />
situation<br />
kiss<br />
encounter<br />
time<br />
sunset<br />
place<br />
on the water<br />
who<br />
two people<br />
stand<br />
as if on an island<br />
alone<br />
the sound of the waves<br />
the smell of salt air<br />
the graceful touch of their hand<br />
the comfort of warmth<br />
familiarity<br />
words need not be spoken<br />
the moment<br />
is enough<br />
it is enough<br />
øøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøø<br />
the weight of love<br />
can be quite unbearable<br />
and can also set you free<br />
never did tink <br />
think that the same thought<br />
could both lift one to the sky<br />
and bring another crashing down<br />
<br />
it is one thing to be in love<br />
and another to be loved<br />
the merits of either<br />
completely debatable<br />
<br />
what is known<br />
that when it comes to love<br />
it isn't always right<br />
or best<br />
and <br />
it is always better to put love in<br />
and never fear that you will return nothing<br />
love will come around<br />
it will find a day<br />
*********************************************<br />
body<br />
awareness<br />
perceiving one's own self<br />
could be harder than you think<br />
you may think <br />
that you know you<br />
but the route to the prize<br />
may be more treacherous than you expect<br />
<br />
if you don't know yourself<br />
how will you know anyone else<br />
will you feel their weight<br />
their need<br />
their hand<br />
do you want to miss the possibility<br />
of more<br />
of love<br />
<br />
being with <br />
someone<br />
being with someone<br />
<br />
the finesse<br />
of the touch<br />
and the movement of the world<br />
are ever evolving<br />
and if we do not know ourselves<br />
we have no chance to know the worldUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14538762.post-32698910033002537432011-02-14T01:13:00.000-06:002011-02-14T01:13:06.013-06:00give me somebody to sing for<br />
give me somebody to show<br />
let me wake up in the morning to find<br />
i have somewhere exciting to go<br />
give me the music <br />
give me the chance to come through<br />
all i ever needed <br />
was the music and the piano<br />
and the chance to sing for you<br />
<br />
[[[[[[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]<br />
<br />
empty out my little head<br />
as empty as my bright red bed<br />
pour from me the stirring thoughts<br />
and all the things i wish i'd forgot<br />
give me to a bit of rest<br />
so i may wake and find i'm blessed<br />
remembering the love i've known<br />
and seeing how i've grown<br />
<br />
i will not ask for<br />
the things i do not need<br />
for in the moments<br />
we plant a seed<br />
germ and bud and leaf push out<br />
searching for the sun above<br />
to the sun in roundabout<br />
with the rain it grows in love<br />
<br />
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::<br />
<br />
look back at moments<br />
and tell me<br />
are you happy<br />
do you want to change anything<br />
cut or paste<br />
<br />
would you trade it<br />
for the world<br />
<br />
tell me your first kiss <br />
tell me how you became an adult<br />
tell me who mattered most<br />
<br />
we tend to grow forward<br />
i hope<br />
and i fear that we do not look back <br />
in the moments we can<br />
<br />
try not to regret a decision<br />
being happy isn't a lie<br />
its a state of mind<br />
that you have control of<br />
be thankful for what you have<br />
cherish the littlestUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14538762.post-2094372840399171072011-02-11T00:41:00.000-06:002011-02-11T00:41:03.629-06:00thanks to Jean de la Ville de Mirmont for inspiration<br />
<br />
the horizon<br />
debatably fabulous<br />
is always just that<br />
the horizon<br />
lining the world you see<br />
day in<br />
day out<br />
out of reach<br />
but acting <br />
sometimes<br />
as an agent of hope<br />
and on occasion<br />
a aide of hopelessness <br />
<br />
<br />
years ago<br />
i embarked<br />
on a journey<br />
one of countless many<br />
this one<br />
of education<br />
and possible change<br />
and hope<br />
falter did i<br />
and attempt<br />
to persevere<br />
and leave<br />
to a world <br />
that helped me to learn<br />
and i returned to the journey<br />
and i now doubt every day<br />
how much i learned<br />
how ready i was<br />
and if i should be here<br />
it is hard to say it is a waste of time<br />
because i am gaining life<br />
and knowledge<br />
but at what costUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14538762.post-52925275355897344002011-02-10T02:56:00.000-06:002011-02-10T02:56:38.573-06:00words for the day<br />
stark<br />
<br />
it is amazing how much we can change<br />
and yet still feel alarmingly the same<br />
feeling that we have<br />
and are <br />
growing older<br />
but in some<br />
sometimes many ways<br />
are surprisingly young<br />
<br />
too old to make sure<br />
that you are up in time <br />
on saturday<br />
for cartoons<br />
but not too old to watch them<br />
<br />
i feel like i am watching those around me get older<br />
while i seemingly stay the same age<br />
but i feel the ever present march toward death<br />
<br />
having the vision<br />
that even though<br />
things seem to be improving<br />
that i am succeeding<br />
in some way<br />
<br />
that the remainder<br />
are digging themselves deeper<br />
<br />
<br />
the distance<br />
does not equal out<br />
i am sinking<br />
below sea level<br />
and the air is too thick to breath<br />
and i may drown<br />
under the weight<br />
of own mindUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14538762.post-57321648196832517772011-02-06T04:24:00.000-06:002011-02-06T04:24:01.266-06:00you may never understand.<br />
<br />
you are one of two friends<br />
<br />
you are my only gay<br />
<br />
i love you<br />
<br />
despite<br />
<br />
and for<br />
<br />
all of these things<br />
<br />
<br />
stop<br />
<br />
hear me<br />
<br />
i love you<br />
<br />
it's that simple<br />
<br />
i love youUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14538762.post-41725122415862747742011-01-24T02:22:00.001-06:002011-01-24T02:22:25.473-06:00i find myself quite perturbed<br />
sometimes<br />
when i realize<br />
that i may not have traveled as far<br />
as i once thought<br />
i may have changed<br />
and grown<br />
but my armor <br />
per se<br />
is still permeable<br />
<br />
i am still bothered by things<br />
mind you these things now<br />
may have been at one time<br />
misunderstood<br />
if understood at all<br />
but now i seem them with much <br />
higher clarity<br />
or greater understanding<br />
to know whether or not <br />
what i know<br />
is true is yet to be seen<br />
and may not be known for some time<br />
<br />
but what i do know is this<br />
i prefer to be communicative<br />
fear confrontation <br />
i would say i do<br />
but in the end<br />
facing my problems head on<br />
has greater impact<br />
than avoiding them<br />
or bottling them<br />
<br />
i would much rather be proactive in my life<br />
than let things deluge fall on me<br />
and eventually bury me with the waves<br />
that are sure to form<br />
<br />
so here's to the people that rather than lunch<br />
skip the meal to do what must be done<br />
to get the work in and done <br />
and done well<br />
<br />
to those that look at school <br />
not as a social environment but as a place <br />
of work<br />
<br />
i wish to you join you in that<br />
i can eat later<br />
and i can socialize later<br />
<br />
i have often found<br />
that being hungry makes the meal that much more satisfying<br />
and that the friends i attempt to make<br />
aren't always the ones i should be hanging around with<br />
<br />
so i'll go hungry<br />
and see who wants to join me for a late bite<br />
because<br />
they not only may be living a life like mine<br />
but they will want to spend their time <br />
with meUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14538762.post-6117085578729329272011-01-22T00:23:00.000-06:002011-01-22T00:23:51.940-06:00just because they are social lords<br />
does not make them a lady<br />
withholding of social approval<br />
for whatever reason<br />
give out but don't reply<br />
accept but make no effort<br />
<br />
i have never heard of such things before<br />
only this sect<br />
this division seems to make these actions<br />
<br />
why do you think that isUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14538762.post-42495983550848063022010-12-07T01:29:00.000-06:002010-12-07T01:29:57.160-06:00i taste pennies<br />
<br />
no its not normal<br />
i want honesty<br />
with communication<br />
<br />
saying nothing isn't actually communication<br />
explaining why you wont be speaking further<br />
is communication<br />
<br />
so i do what i want<br />
not necessarily what i must<br />
to get my answers<br />
deception<br />
seems to be a very american thing<br />
use it to your advantage<br />
<br />
i get answers<br />
not necessarily the ones i want<br />
but answers none the less<br />
that add<br />
some sense of finality<br />
are welcomed<br />
at some level<br />
<br />
regardless how much like copper<br />
they tasteUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14538762.post-54240505678431662842010-11-30T05:28:00.000-06:002010-11-30T05:28:06.907-06:00let's review<br />
<br />
i live a life<br />
that is not always easy<br />
as many lives are<br />
<br />
i wish that i would have made different choices<br />
i wish that i may have been made different<br />
<br />
in my heart of hearts<br />
i find myself<br />
in my thoughts<br />
and actions<br />
always believing in a higher power<br />
i find truth in Jesus and his father<br />
<br />
i am quite aware that at this stage<br />
that may very well be<br />
not the easiest road <br />
<br />
for my actions call out to me<br />
that they are not pleasing<br />
<br />
at night<br />
like tonight<br />
i am kept awake<br />
by nagging suspicion<br />
by negative self talk<br />
and i cry out<br />
<br />
god grant me the peace and serenity <br />
so that i may sleep<br />
so that i may rest<br />
so that i may rise again<br />
<br />
i feel once more<br />
that i stand alone<br />
<br />
that by being gay<br />
and feeling that he is capable of all things<br />
including having made me this way<br />
i too can be an instrument of his work<br />
but i still feel alone<br />
<br />
i do not always feel his hand<br />
his warmth<br />
his love<br />
<br />
but yet i continue to turn to him<br />
i continue to hear a voice<br />
telling me that there is someone<br />
<br />
i don't know what to say anymore<br />
i don't know how to continue<br />
<br />
i feel afraid of the possibilities of my past life choices<br />
i may have damaged things so much<br />
that in my current view<br />
i do not see many choices<br />
chances<br />
left for me<br />
<br />
and for that i am sad<br />
but i must remember that i <br />
with love<br />
with grace<br />
with kindness<br />
with devotion<br />
with resilience <br />
with perseverance<br />
i can do what needs to be done<br />
<br />
for whether or not i may believe always<br />
that there is a god<br />
and he gave us his son<br />
<br />
i do believe <br />
that if all of these things were true<br />
or not<br />
these stories<br />
these men<br />
these ideas<br />
were written down<br />
for a reason<br />
and found a way into my life<br />
for a reason<br />
and that canot be ignore<br />
<br />
so i ask<br />
the expanse<br />
let me improve every day<br />
let me grow every day<br />
<br />
let me grow in the definition of love<br />
for love<br />
as <br />
in my idea<br />
the common uniter of all religion<br />
is all that matters<br />
<br />
so if the lord is love<br />
and his son was of love<br />
let me live of that same beautiful basic <br />
<br />
love<br />
thats all i ever seem to want<br />
and sadly<br />
feel that i rarely felt<br />
<br />
all you need is love<br />
all i need is love<br />
<br />
and maybe it is better<br />
to love without reciprocation<br />
than to have never loved at all<br />
maybe that devotion<br />
is a testament <br />
to the spirit that dwells within you<br />
and the backing that love has<br />
that it will not cease<br />
it cannot be stopped<br />
<br />
<br />
and if this is true<br />
i again<br />
hear the calling of the lord<br />
telling me<br />
he did not make a mistake <br />
not when making me<br />
not with my sexuality<br />
not with my choices<br />
because he will use all of me<br />
and it was his design that built me<br />
and it is he who will not desert me<br />
for in the end <br />
i may be a testament to him<br />
<br />
and if you come to think<br />
that maybe<br />
he is a selfish and praise needing lord<br />
i beg this question<br />
if he did create us<br />
and all that is on this earth<br />
would he<br />
if he were a real man<br />
not be a man of accolades and worth praise<br />
for creating so many things<br />
but lets stop for one minute<br />
and think<br />
on one creation<br />
the human spirit<br />
is hard to break<br />
it bends<br />
it can be lit aflame<br />
and can drive a person<br />
to do unimaginable <br />
seemingly impossible things<br />
that creation<br />
something intangible<br />
inside of every one of us<br />
may be <br />
the greatest creation of allUnknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14538762.post-78725771880934173282010-11-26T03:14:00.000-06:002010-11-26T03:14:08.555-06:00i am thankful for<br />
<br />
second chances<br />
heart<br />
loyalty<br />
love<br />
friendship<br />
music<br />
passion<br />
Schubert<br />
German<br />
French<br />
Italian<br />
the ability to sing<br />
good fashion<br />
my life of opportunity<br />
<br />
this all feels trite<br />
but every year<br />
we are asked<br />
to round the table<br />
with<br />
what we are thankful for<br />
<br />
so what am i thankful for<br />
<br />
i am thankful<br />
that i have been brought up the way i have been<br />
to think critically<br />
to ask questions<br />
and to never accept anything as best<br />
<br />
this has always had me leaning into the wind<br />
pushing myself forward<br />
wanting more of myself and others around me<br />
and at times<br />
hating quite a bit of life<br />
<br />
i have flown from end to end of extremes i can in my life<br />
and i am thankful for that<br />
that the experience i have is deep and wide<br />
<br />
i am happy for the great things I have been able to do<br />
i have an opportune life <br />
that not everyone has<br />
and i am thankful that I was dealt the hand i have been dealt<br />
<br />
i also am quite happy for the mistakes i have made<br />
and will make<br />
mistakes and flaws remind me that things are real<br />
imperfections make something perfect<br />
at least in my own eyes<br />
<br />
so here are to the fuck ups i will commit<br />
and here is to me getting back up<br />
as soon as i can<br />
<br />
here is to the people who stand by me<br />
through all of my bull shit<br />
not always directed at them<br />
but sometimes<br />
the overflow ebbs in their direction<br />
<br />
so here is to the man who seems to have<br />
lived in my life for what feels like forever<br />
i said my peace<br />
but i don't want to be done<br />
i doubt i ever will<br />
i love you<br />
and miss you<br />
<br />
i hope we can pick up where we left off<br />
like alwaysUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0