i have realized two things during this birthday week... two week period.

1. for some people unconditional love that seems to be endless, may not be sexy

2. that maybe the reason things sometimes don't happen is not only cause they weren't supposed to, but that the conditions have yet to exist that would provide the event's possibility. and maybe inaction, second guessing and "ponderances" are also a part of this. that maybe even in the moments when it seems that these event horizons may possibly be approaching, it is better to succumb to the reality of the moment, rather than force the proverbial square block in the proverbial triangular hole -- if you so wish to use the children's toys metaphor.

i will continue to love. sexy or not. and one day, maybe, the conditions for my desired event, will align. and then and only then, may i know the true possibility of my desire.

i welcome all come-ers
with one hand open, palm up
and one hand cocked and in ready fist
i was here before you
i will be here after you
in the end your shit will be gone
while i still stand here
with him

will you?