so this is where i am at
i still feel
energy stifled
which in turn leaves me feeling emotionally constipated (thanks for the verbiage kevin)
so right now
i have been quiet
and really unable to express myself
which BLOWS
i read a fair amount today during day 1 of tour
which by the way
i hated
cause i hate choir


i still feel very alone
in just about every sense
and i felt a really nice embrace two times today

i say to myself
as well as others
this town is absolute parp for people like me
whether i believe it or not i think isnt debatable
but whether or not i have accepted is
is another story

why cant i find someone that even
fulfills a single criteria
that i hold

maybe its cause i despise most gay men
that are around this area...
i'd like to say i know that i deserve one
but i cannot say such things truthfully

and even when i ask opinions from other people
and get the answer i wish to hear
i dont accept it as truth
because for some reason i think they are lying?
or if they arent
they must be the only one to see it as such

and now it seems i cannot keep focus
or clearness of mind
so i will be done