i came home
to a place i deplore
and adore
for all the wrong
and all the right reasons

i was ready to get back to work
but had some things to clean up
i bowed my head
and took my lashes
but still had nothing to work on

by the time i received
what i was supposed
to work on
i was so distracted
i never got anything done
and i do mean
anything

i fucked things up with my best friend
and was shown
that a few people i know
were more than just merely petty

school starts
and i am raring to go
two days well played
day three

things crumbled

i can only hope
and attempt to make
day four and onward
be the best they can be

but this shit scares me
i don't want things to fall
further
apart

i want to be better
i wish to by my best

so i can get out of this place
this place
where the fences hold me in
and the sky seems to hold me down

i wish i was free to decide
trusted by those i give my trust to

i wish things weren't so complicated
like me

i wish i didn't feel the need to
go back to
counseling

but i feel alone
without a single ally

the cheese stands proverbially alone
and the farmer
who in some way
is associated with this dell
seems to give two shits
whether or not a rat picks me up and carries me away

blah
this is shit