for the 26th of july


so on this day
i hoped for inspiration to write
of the time i had grown
of the time i had spent
pushing myself
the envelope
the limits
something to look back on the past five years
to say that i had grown
to show that i had proof
but what i found
was myself in the shower
still awake
at five am
in prayer
near tears
realizing truths
coming to grips
with myself
my life
this world
to say that the past years
including the past five
having been a cake walk
would be a complete lie
paths covered in lies
deception
confusion
anger
depression
loneliness
but more than anything
knowledge
learning
growth
change
positivity

i will never exchange my life for anyone elses
i would never surrender what i have learned
for my experiences
for my soul
eyes
heart
mind
love

i am the greatest individual
i never expected to be
and i am only 20

i never thought i would live to see 30
thought i would die before then
of stress
in the ends of my own means
by the life choices i make/made
but now
30 is a positive
40 is seen
50 is imagined
bigger and brighter
and if i continue like this
i will love myself
more and more
everyday
so why die young
why die until have walked my destined path
why slow
why not defy all the odds and expectations
even those that are set by greater than ourselves
if we can remove ourselves from a preplanned path
i can continue on the path longer than expected
and have a more rich and colorful life than the same

so i say to the world
two anniversaries destined to be close
within hours of eachother
from this day
from that hour
i am reborn
in every way
better and more determined
i dare you to try to stop me
from getting farther than
anyone
ever expected

to quote rare earth
but more lovingly
the temptations

get ready
cause here i come