at home catch up

---

I find myself in many a situation that relates to television
and all of them are a bit sad and pathetic
but yet real

---

I wonder how much longer
it would have taken
to avoid this issue more
to pull a bigger cop out
to be more lame with my actions
to resort to that lowly a state
i truly must have been desperate
and did it make it any better?
Absolutely not
to be prideful i say this isnt my friends
speaking their words again through me
but
it is what i knew from the get go
before i even started
i dont always have to be mature
i dont always have to be good
let me be irresponsible and bad for a try
how else will i learn anything
and trust me
my eyes and ears and mind are open
you better believe this
is only the beginning of the lesson

---

There are times of clairvoyance
when i remember i am so young
as are those around me
even at times
those who are by birth are older
are sometimes younger than i
and those who may be younger by birth
could thereby be potentially older than myself

for some they are just merely taking their first steps
on a road that i myself have walked
for going on five years

to think back to when i took my first steps
and those who watched
and helped to pick me up when i fell
i remember more the ones who helped me up
rather than the reason i fell
or whom it was i was walking with

so why do i fret about the now
whos with whom
and such trifiling matters
when i can merely take it day by day
and be there when they fall
to help them up

whether they help me
in return
or someone else
as long as the forward motion continues
and even if it doesnt
at least i am forward motion
continuing on
until i die
because this part of me is worth holding on to