11/2/05: 1 O Clock Hour - Trey Collection

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He calls me crazy
for what?
Loving him?
I think of him
when I am beside him
and when I am not
I worry
for every part of him
every action he does
for all of his habits
smoking
drinking
drugs
every nasty thing
that I myself can associate with
I love him none the less
he associates with so much
that I do not care for
dare I say hate
but I do not judge him
he is attacked
and I stand to defend
not that the attackers matter
but that he does
I dare say
that i wish
that i hadnt met him
so that I wouldnt feel these things
but as Eve in the garden
if it were not for her wrong
we would not have what we have
I thank and curse
our creator for what we have
the great and negative
the spectrum
makes things how they are
from my pain
I find joy
because of my digust
and dare I say hate
I have found Love

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I am unhappy here
where I am
just as you would be
unhappy here
I wish to move
from this place
is that running?
the place where
I wish to go
is near where
you are
is that running
to you?
Everywhere I go
anything I say
whatever I do
you are there
because I Love
You
When I speak
I hear you
not telling me
what to say
or how to speak
but telling me
the things
you told me
when we laid
together
that morning
and cried
Wherever I go
I feel you
the Love
I have for you
a constant reminder
of purpose
of passion
Of Love
Whatever I do
I have you
not telling me
what action
to take
or not
but standing
behind me
supporting me

wether or not you want that
I have it
a Love for you
undying
always will I remember
You
and what you help me
to see
to know
to feel
all the things I felt
when I was with you
you did not
make
me feel them
I felt them
of choice
you merely introduced them to me
look at you
you felt them once
look how great you are
regardless if you see it or not
I see it
your greatness
your acheivement
you cannot take away
my feelings
or visions
and I cannot
make
you see or understand you
but I will be there
for you
Loving you
as all I can
even if you dont want me

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Your apartment
smells of pot
Adam sits stoned
on that couch
with 70s print
Avery's room
is strewn
with all that is her
scene
the kitchen
not pink
not dirty
an empty box of wine
a laugh a escapes
my lips
your cat
the escape artists
lies waiting
watching the door
your room
dark
items strewn about
circles blanket
covers the window
cds against the wall
computer
open to myspace
tense
uncomfortable talk
escapes our lips
signals subdued
reach me
you leave the room
many a time
I stay
we return to the room
and you mention a nap
you dont want me to leave
I call you on it
we stand
embrace
feel the warmth
the comfort
the familiarity
we both want it
want eachother
the love
the warmth
words escape me
telling him
of how I worry
and miss him
he agrees

the closest he has come

I tell him I Love Him
how much I care
anything I want to say
I say
I feel great
he calls it heavy
and wants me to leave
I hear his heart
cry out
in pain
his brain slaps his heart
the command to leave repeated
I know my power
I attempt a use
his brain is too in control
his heart numbed and mute
but not deaf
we embrace again
I feel his heart
his brain pulls away

I know I reach him
the one I knew once
the one who Loves me
I hope
that it will be enough
for him to know
to realize
to come to accept
the Love

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I wrote down
"What are we?"
in regards to you
to attempt to write
on what we are
and I look to it
as I tried to finish this
but found
I knew the answer
you are you
and I myself
But
I Love You
and thats what we are
ourselves
and I Love You
that simple