question

does being what seems to be
the solo gay
in the area
make you gayer
or straighter

or does being in a gay centric community
make you gayer

concentration by solitude
or
concentration by proximity

random idea

selfish
the words ring out
across space
in the darkness
void of light
seemingly endless
much like the feeling
of complete
and utter
selfishness

how could i want something so single mindedly
i want him to myself

it is amazing what my mind does when it comes to him
he lifts my heart so high
and empties my mind

but following that moment
my heart decends
and what i believed to be empty
merely
could have been the parting of the clouds

this year
will be nine years

of being out
and being in love with him

what is this life that i lead
why do i feel i seemingly stand alone

and why has love
and life
by standard definition
thwarted me so

i speak the line
first as an outpouring with no control
second as a negotiation asking for the slightest bit
and third in defeat

never let me stop
never let me cease
never let me go away