two plus weeks
little to no noticeable change
my patience draws short
yet my attention span seems to grow

i want nothing more than to escape
to take the time
that is needed
to make myself
as whole as i can be
today

to run away
for quiet
and meditation
to push out
look in
take stock
and find that
what i have inside of me
is all that i need

but i need to nurture it
let it grow
maybe that
may make all the difference

push out
breath in
release
relax
let go
let love

i am getting very bored with
being disappointed in people

i am given what i most likely
could be given
for what i had wanted
for this period of time

and yet
i am going to bed
more depressed
than when i started

i want to run away home
to paris ill go
and feel like a kid again

but in reality
i just want my friend home
i want him to be near me
i love him

i want to be happy

and i am not giving up the dream

is there a world where i can be friends with my ex
where i might want to be friends with my ex
where i would have a healthy relationship with my ex

i can't imagine
stuck
stuck in that place
where i am afraid i'll never be over him completely

and i think i want to

pretty sure i want to

this feels frivolous
and pushed

trite

merde

fievel goes west

sitting worlds apart
maybe looking at the same damned star

i do find comfort
that wherever you are
even tho its hours ahead
i don't feel hours behind

i just miss you
i am happy you are warm
and i hope you are comfortable
but i hope you miss me

i hope you realize the gravity of the situation
even if you don't let me know
and don't let me know the pull that i am not causing

one day
you will feel my love
and maybe
one day
i will feel your love

but i don't want either of us
to make us

to the artist
who seemingly does what she wants
but yet feels confined
she does not bash her head against the walls
thrashing to show her opposition
but instead
the modern day
giovanni de palestrina
finds the way
to break the rules
and seemingly stand inside the walls
that used to confine her

let your multiphasic lyrics fly
let the polyphony echo
and let the antiphonal chorus sound

a new musical saviour
to remind the top 40
of something more

its very odd
the things you find
when you awareness comes around
to prove that you left something
that maybe you now want

but what causes you to want it now

in this case
they are happy
happier than you
so it would appear

would you trade the success
that you have seen
for the companionship
that they sail
for the current time

lord only knows how long
the rainbow flag will fly
on that vessel

the length of time being all to short
and yet unbearably long
for those manning the rigging

so here's to the ladies who put themselves first
i hope your happy
you are at many times
my inspiration